Oh my

So I was catching up with a friend the other day and I was talking about the usual things, kids, stress, our crazy life, etc and she said, "Really? It's kind of good to hear that you struggle, your life just seems so perfect on your blog."

Um, our life is far from perfect and lately I have been so overwhelmed. I was looking back through some blog posts trying to find what I wrote when I was stressed out about something, but I never wrote it down. I wanted some advise from myself but it wasn't there. So for these two reasons I am writing this post, and also to vent.

I am so stressed out, and so overwhelmed with everything that I have taken on lately. I feel like I'm running and running as fast as I can and I'm still falling more behind.

I wish I could talk to my Grandma about how she did it. When she was my age she built a house, ran my Grandpa's practice, and managed several properties. I miss her.

I have such a long to do list for our house that it makes my stomach literally hurt
John went from working at home several hours a day to working away from home 10-12 hours a day
John has so much going on that he really needs me to lighten his load, I have so much going on that I need him to lighten my load, so we are holding hands and drowning together.
I have fed my family more pizzas, burgers, cereal, and granola bars than I want to admit
Sometimes the kids are fighting and I just ignore them
there are days when I'm putting the kids to bed and remember to brush their teeth, but I just put them to bed anyway because I'm too tired
the house is always a mess
I rarely have time to actually sit down and play with the kids
the kids watch way more movies than I feel comfortable with
my iphone has become a main source of entertainment/distraction for the kids
I never write thank you notes to anyone anymore
I like to think that my kids are well trained and good sleepers but one if not all kids wake up every night, which makes me a zombie and compounds my stress
I never shop for deals or sales anymore because I don't have time, I pay full price for most things because I need them asap, which I hate doing
the kids are always running around with dirty hands, faces, clothes and diapers
I buy bottled water and paper plates and use them every day
most days I don't wear any makeup and don't even touch my hair
I have very little milk due to stress etc and have to feed Vera bottles
guilt
guilt
guilt

So, really it's not as bad as it sounds and some of these are probably exaggerated but I am really looking forward to the end of the summer when our house is done, when we can move in and be settled and disappear into our own little lives and sit on the couch and watch a movie without anything else to do.

On a happier note:

the weather is beautiful, and we spend at least one hour everyday outside where the kids can run and play and dig
John works SO hard and provides for us so well
we live near family that we love and get to see often
Vera learned to sit, swallow food and put things in her mouth this week (all things I was worried about)
Really, I am so blessed and grateful for everything that I have, and I realize that most of these things are self induced and temporary. It actually feels really good to work hard and push myself, that is how we learn and grow right?

Well, I am going to go snuggle on the couch with Mae, and then do a fun activity with Wes and then enjoy a delicious dinner that John is making us. Happy Mother's Day!